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SCRATCH VON RUMMEL - GUITAR, VOCALS,4:20, Satanic Messages
Scratch Von Rummel, Born in Hell(NYC). He dabbled in various underworld corruptions. It is even rumored that Scratch was
the true inspiration of "The Godfather" & Tony Soprano. When Scratch wasn't fitting people with cement shoes,
he practiced his guitar and managed pro wrestlers. Scratch had dreams of putting together the ultimate Rock and Roll outfit.
Late in the Winter of 1996, Scratch was accused of ordering the death of a rival manager "The Grand Wizard" by the
FBI. The witnesses mysteriously died and he was never convicted. He then gave up managing wrestlers and went looking to fulfill
his Rock and Roll dream.
SMOKEY TOENAILS - VOCALS,CHEESEGRATER,Cowskull,PorkPulling
Smokey Toenails began his road to fame as a Professional wrestler. Smokey was managed by Scratch. He won the heavy weight
title of the Swedish Independant Federation. Their incredibly successful alliance continued until Smokey "accidentally"
killed an opponent with his lethal finishing move, "The Dreaded Lateral Transfer". Smokey vacated his title and
devoted himself to the church and became the first male nun. Smokey found his true calling and began singing in the Convents'
choir. During a visit to the Convent, Scratch told Smokey of his dream to form a band. Smokey grabbed his Bible and they started
their quest to form a band
JIMMY CRACKCORN-Drums, Vocals, Jello Shots, ass painting
Jimmy Crackcorn was recruited to play drums. Jimmy was the only son of Alabama sharecropper "Muscle Shoals". Mr.
Crackcorn was the former drummer of the 70's funk band "BIG BROWN LOG". Jimmy was making a living as a door to door
herb salesman. With some coaxing he was happy to give up selling St. John's Wort to lonley housewives in favor of the rock
and roll high life.
Poppa Boner-Bass, Vocals, line dancing, animal pornographer
Quai Chang Christ-Guitar, Vocals, Bible thumping, cooking grits
The only thing needed to complete the circle was a lead guitar/kazoo player. Luckily, during a visit to a truckstop in Fagzanus,
NJ, HUNGRY JACK found their man! The former leader of the infamous Bible-toting, hillbilly Karate cult called The Swampers.
Quai Chang Christ was rumored to be the love child of "Jesus Christ, Bruce Lee and Janis Joplin. He had been in hiding
for years. There was a mishap at a karate convention in which he was wrongly(?) accused of breaking Pat Morita's arm. Quai
was doing an acoustic set in the truckstops' parking lot. For his encore, Quai Chang would set his guitar on fire and karate
chop it. Scratch and the boyz were quite impressed with his talent. They asked Quai Chang to come out of hiding to join up
with the band. After a group yoga session and many cups of magic mushroom tea, Quai Chang agreed to join HUNGRY JACK!!
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